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UCAS Personal Statement Examples

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  380 UCAS Personal Statement Examples
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Business Management UCAS Personal Statement

You will see that I have made quite radical changes to your draft (overall, you have a good style, and it is easy to follow), including changes in the order. I have pruned a great deal of the non-academic material, without any loss of content. This is because you say almost nothing about your SPECIFIC ACADEMIC INTERESTS in Business Studies, and this is essential. You will see where I have left a space for you to introduce a whole new paragraph on this. Then your commitment will really come across.

I hope you like the revised version. Good luck with your application.

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Personal statement (1st Draft)

I have effectively rewritten this, eliminating all the unnecessary material. This now gives you scope to introduce much more by way of specific illustration and examples in the places I have indicated in your draft. I am also not clear whether this is intended for UCAS - if so, you offer no identification of or information on the subject you want to study.

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Accounting and Finance Personal Statement

This is generally very good, and certainly positive. I have made a number of textual changes in order that it might read more fluently. I have also changed the order of your paragraphs, so that the sequence is now more convincing.

I hope you like the revised version. Good luck with your application.

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Sociology Personal Statement

You will see that I have made a vast number of changes to this draft. It was far too long, and so I have cut out all the unnecessary and rambling sentences. There were plenty of grammatical errors and examples of poor sentence construction, all of which have been eliminated.

You never actually state which subject you are applying for, and so I have assumed it is Sociology. In a number of places where I have indicated you need to provide much more specific information about the topic areas that interest you most (Sociology and Business Studies) and authors (English). I have also produced a more convincing conclusion.

I hope you like the revised version. Good luck with your application.

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Animal Biology Personal Statement

Much of this is quite good, though I have made quite substantial alterations in order that it should read more fluently. In a number of places I have indicated material that should be added - in particular, some indication of the nature of your farm duties and identification of the 'skills' you mention.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck with your application.

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CV, all my grades are A's and B's

I have made extensive changes here, as you will see in the revised draft. It also includes a number of questions I have raised, which you will be able to answer, and thus amend what you have written. At the end I have highlighted two additional sections that must be included - on your academic ambitions, and on you as a person.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck with your application.

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These are outlining my plans to the future and they need to be extremely good so plz help generously

I have rewritten a great deal of this - draft attached. It now reads much more convincingly.

In a number of places I have indicated in bold further material that you must add.

I hope this is helpful.

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Personal statement for college

I have done the very best I can with this, making radical changes to your sentences, and also removing most of the more negative comments. You will need to add two or three sentences explaining what exactly you did at BT and how your knowledge of technology was improved.

I hope you like the new version. Good luck!

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Psychology Personal Statement

This is much better! You have answered most of the questions I posed last time, and as a result the academic content is greatly improved. I have re-worded most of it to make it read even better, and I hope you like the finished product. Good luck!

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Actuarial Science Mature Personal Statement

This reads very well, and I have made a limited number of changes to the wording in order to make a number of sentences flow rather better. I have inserted the fact that you are a mature student early on. It is best to leave a line between each separate paragraph, as have done. And I have sorted out all your space problems, putting the space after the comma rather than before!

I hope you like the new version. Good luck with your application.

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