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Architecture UCAS Examples

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Architecture Personal Statement 2

This is a good personal statement. The content is fine but there are some minor amendments you need to make mainly to do with punctuation.

1. I was involved in some productions whilst studying GCSE Drama, these I thoroughly enjoyed

I was involved in some productions whilst studying GCSE Drama. These I thoroughly enjoyed

2. In the past I have been nominated as a School Council representative, this gave me the opportunity

In the past I have been nominated as a School Council representative which gave me the opportunity

3. Special needs children [Special Needs]

4. for Special needs children, I worked with a mixed ability

for Special needs children - I worked with a mixed ability

5. I participated in ‘Industry Challenge’ where we had to work with a company who gave us a task based on a problem within, we then had to detail

I participated in ‘Industry Challenge’ where we had to work with a company who gave us a task based on a problem within. We then had to detail

6. This has enabled me to work within a given time frame and gave me a wider

This has enabled me to work within a given time frame and has given me a wider

7. For the past year I have worked part-time at Woolworths, on the Entertainment counter where I have many responsibilities, I have

For the past year I have worked part-time at Woolworths, on the Entertainment counter where I have many responsibilities. I have

Good luck!

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Architecture Personal Statement

This is good. You have certainly done a lot and consequently your statement is jam-packed with interesting things you have done. The content is fine but stylistically your statements need a little polish. At times your punctuation is a little uncertain so double check for this:

Notes

1. studying Graphic products [Graphic Products?]

2. to explore the wonders of great Art and Architecture [art and architecture]

3. Having travelled abroad to many locations including Jamaica, Mexico, Canada and Spain [,] I have gained an open-minded perspective and an interest in the world.

4. . I was involved in some productions whilst studying GCSE Drama, these I thoroughly [full top needs rather than a comma after Drama]

5. could you present the following as one paragraph - otherwise it reads a little disjointedly:

I am applying to study Architecture because I have always had an interest in art and design, especially since studying Graphic products at GCSE and Design Technology at AS Level. I have particularly enjoyed researching existing products and manufacturing processes, as well as presenting my ideas as technical drawings and producing a final prototype. Living in London has given me the opportunity to explore the wonders of great Art and Architecture, through visits to churches, art galleries, museums, theatres and by observing other historical buildings.
I feel my A level subjects have equipped me with the ability to articulate my thoughts and ideas and to think laterally.
I am looking forward to acquiring skills in model making, photography and computing.

Hope this helps a little.

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