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English Literature UCAS Examples

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English Literature Personal Statement

I have gone in for a great deal of revision here. I have removed the more self-congatulatory phrases, which should be left to your referee! I have eliminated the repetition, with a view to creating space for you to insert a new paragraph where I have indicated. As it stands, your PS says nothing about your favourite authors/novels/plays/poems; nor does it offer any detail about your own writing. Once you have rectified this, and in the light of all my changes, it will be very good.
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Revised English Literature Personal Statement (took marker's advice)

This is reading very nicely now - I am glad you made most of the amendments I suggested. I have confined myself to a small number of further minor changes, and hope you like it. Good luck with your application!
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Revised English Literature Personal Statement

I am glad that you have taken on board some of the detailed suggestions I made last time. Your draft is, however, still too long, and I have had to make further rewording and pruning to get it closer to a fit. I have also again deleted the negative comments in the penultimate paragraph, since 30 years of experience of university applications confirms that this would not aid your cause! I hope you are happy with this revised draft.
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english personal statement

This was much too long, and you will see I have gone in for a great deal of pruning and rewording. I have also removed the rather negative comments about the late subject decision - never a good idea in a PS! It reads much more convincingly now, and I hope you like the revised version. Good luck with your application!
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UCAS Personal statement - English and Italian (not completely finished)

A most interesting and enterprising attempt! It reads slightly pretentiously in places, and often you select the wrong word or phrase. I have made all the necessary amendments, including the addition of an essential final sentence, and it now reads very persuasively. You might want to add another sentence at the end of the first paragraph identifying your particular interests in English literature - i.e. favourite authors/novels/poems/plays. Good luck with your application - I'd certainly give you an offer!
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English Literature Personal Statement

This reads well, though I have made a number of textual amendments, including the inclusion of a punchier opening line. Specific examples are needed in the three places I have indicated. I hope you like the revised version, which is attached.
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English Literature UCAS Personal Statement

Hi This is a good personal statement and is generally well-written. However, there is room for a little more editing. Here and there you’ll find that you might have expressed yourself a little better. The notes below should help. Notes: 1. I am currently studying three A-levels: English Literature, Biology and Psychology. I also took Theatre Studies AS-level and, although it encouraged my interest in the theatre, and gave me the chance to study plays from a different perspective – which I found particularly enjoyable, I chose not to continue this subject to A-level as I felt I had taken all I could from the subject. [this sentence is overly complex – you need to break it up into two shorter sentence at least] 2. works of the Bronte’s [Brontes] 3. well-constructed essays, constructing [the repetition of constructed and constructing is a little awkward here] 4. I feel I have developed my skills in writing well-constructed essays, constructing and developing an argument, and expressing an individual perspective. [also, too many ‘ands’] 5. me initiative, communicative and enterprise skills. [me initiative, and communicative and enterprise skills]
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English Literature Personal Statement final draft

Pretty good. The right length, and your conviction comes across. Without altering the structure or sense of what you are trying to say, I have made extensive changes to the wording. It now reads more fluently, and I hope you like the revised version. Good luck with your application.
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English Literature UCAS Personal Statement 1st Draft

Good first draft but curb your tendency to 'overwrite'. Work at expressing yourself plainly and simply. This will impress more than using elaborate phrases that don't work.

1. From the age that I could read I became an avid and passionate reader. [needs expressing differently]

2. This stemmed my interest ['stemmed' is not the right word here]

3. I am infatuated ['infatuated' not quite right here]

4. evoked my desire ['evoked' is not the right word here]

5. two years ago which was a not only a privilege but a thrilling experience [take out the 'a' after 'was']

6. the breathtaking musical 'Les Miserable[s]' into reading

7. I have a great sense of enthusiasm [I have a great enthusiasm]

8. compelled me to effectively study independently [take out 'effectively']

9. , unadulterated explanations no need for 'unadulterated']

10. inspiring chance [no need for 'inspiring']

11. been dedicated into playing [ 'dedicated' not the right word here]

12. extracurricular [extra-curricular]

13. the competence to succeed. ['competence' not right here]

Keep at it!

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