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Travel and Tourism Management UCAS Examples

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Travel and Tourism Management Personal Statement Final

This is fine - very varied, detailed and well-written. A very good personal statement.

Good luck with your application!

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Travel and Tourism Management Personal Statement Draft 3

This is a good statement. It is full, varied and interesting. At times you need to be a little more direct and simple in your expression. Note the following:

1. To collect information I visited tourist office[s]

2. enable[d] me in applying

3. where I was marvelled [overawed by?]

4. The awareness has made [This has made me aware that many businesses]

5. The awareness has made me note that many businesses have been set up with 1 out of 10 people in Spain being employed in this industry [so I took pleasure in studying Business AS level] this last bit seems tagged on at thend and doesn't quite follow. A need to rewrite this bit.

6. as I want[ed] to improve my aptness for languages [langauge ability?]

7. involved in attending customers [involved attending to customers]

8. variation with us [variation isn't right here]

9. ",the program [the programme]

10. , thus promoting [demonstrating?]leadership qualities

11. course so that I can contruct my [construct]

Good luck.

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Travel and Tourism Management Personal Statement Draft 2

I think this may be a little too long. Most of your paragraphs could do with some 'pruining'. Focus on what you've done and achieved but move away from too biographical a narrative. For example:

Having resided in the Canary Islands, I've had the advantage of being surrounded by/exposed to an expanding tourist environment since an early age. During my childhood, I recall, a sense of curiosity would spark inside me whenever I spotted people being guided around the town or carrying maps which made me question my parents innocently who they were and where they came from. [how necessary is your second sentence?]

Also miss a line between paragraphs for more attractive presentation.

Occasionally you 'over-write' - keep the language you use relatively simple and direct but avoiding unnecessarily vague or abstract words e.g.:

1. by/exposed [one or the other but not both]

2. coherent evaluation [too vague/abstract]

3. Travel & Tourism Management fuelled up to a [fuelled up? developed?]

Hope this helps a little.

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Travel and Tourism Management Personal Statement Draft 1

This is quite good but you might find that's it's slight too long. Overall, you express yourself well but there is a tendency to choose unnecessarily complex phrases instead of simple ones. (see below for where I think you need to change things)

1. Ever since, I've been gradually compiling knowledge about [express this more simply]

2. The continuous awareness has made me note that the [express more simply]

3. from analytical thinking, well-judged criticism and evaluation tactics
[express more simply]

4. I've had [I have had - keep it formal]

5. While I am enjoying A level Spanish, [necessary?]

6. fuelled up to a greater extent [awkward expression]

7. Throughout this project, I first entered the tourist world in depth.
[awkward expression]

8. it is indeed a very enthralling experience. [necessary]

9. accomodation [accommodation]

10. that it is a highly spirited job [not the right expression]

11. tedious yet interesting [is tedious the right word here - leave it out]

12. Furthermore, im studying A level [I am studying]

A good statement but a need fro some fine tuning.

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