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Medicine Personal Statement (urgent, need to send it soon!)

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UCAS Experts Feedback:

This is a solid, convincing statement. You have a lot to put in that is relevant. Do you need to say anything about the subjects you are studying and what you find interesting about them? Further comments below.

Notes:

1. A few years ago, if you had asked me if I wanted to pursue a career in medicine, I would have laughed. Why would anyone want to become a doctor? First, a gruelling six year course at medical school, then the long irregular hours of training as a house officer, the impolite patients and the risk of litigation. So why am I applying to read medicine I hear you ask?
[the style here is a little too conversational]

2. contact & the opportunity ‘and’ not & - throughout]

3. paediatrics; intensive care and the haemodialysis department. [comma rather than semi-colon after paediatrics]

4. me make friends girls of [friends with girls]

5. I also help to teach dance with my dance teacher, we teach both Bollywood & hip hop for free.
[a semi-colon rather than comma needed after ‘teacher’]

6. A concluding statement would round it off.

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1 student responses

MishaK
MishaK
Thank you so much, for looking at it and answering all my questions. I could say something about my subjects: Maths, Biology , Chemistry and Physics (probably why I chose them). Do you have any tips on changing the first paragraph? I want the content to be the same but I agree the style is too informal.
responded Sep 25, 2005 1:59:17 PM BST
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