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UCAS Law Personal Statement advice, proof read, comments

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UCAS Experts Feedback:

 

A solid and convincing statement but some amendments needed – see below.


Notes:


1. I am currently studying Psychology at Eggbuckland Community College at A2 level which I believe to be relevant to the study of law. [‘Eggbuckland Community College at A2 level – unnecessary detail]

2. anti social behaviour [anti-social behaviour]

3. their behaviours and [behaviour]

4. psychology [when referring to the subject give it a capital P]

5. is religious studies [Religious Studies]

6. at which I was permitted to [where I was permitted]

7. I have seen many of my dad’s clients come [father’s clients]

8. my grandma [grandmother]

9. I also gain enjoyment from computers. I am proficient with computers and can not only use software for computers, but also can repair and build computers. [needs to be crisper – repetition of ‘computers’]

10. Needs a concluding statement.

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