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UCAS Experts Feedback:
I really enjoyed reading this - it stands out! Congratulations! It has a nice, snappy style, while the emphasis upon specific examples is most effective and exactly right. I assume you are applying to high profile universities.
I wasn't quite clear who 'he' might be in the first paragraph, though I assume he is your history teacher. I've therefore added a short phrase a very start which makes this clear. I've also added a decisive final line, and have altered the odd word elsewhere, where your choice didn't seem quite right. Ditto on punctuation!
I hope you like the revised version. Good luck with your application, which is thoroughly deserving of success.