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UCAS Experts Feedback:
I'm rather perplexed by this, since what you have compiled is a CV rather than a Personal Statement. Are you planning to apply to university or college? And, if so, is it for Art?
If the answer is yes, you need to write a piece explaining your particular interests in Art (styles, periods, painters, etc) and outlining details of your own work. You will almost certainly need a portfolio too.
But I have amended your CV, and indicated what you must add if it is designed to go to a potential employer. You need to give details of referees too - and put in details of your work in Art.