You must have a "StudyZones UCAS Account" to view example UCAS Personal Statements. Please select either the "
Examples" or "
Editing" services to gain access to this and over 380 other UCAS Personal Statements.
I am afraid that, as it stands, this is badly unbalanced, as it contains far too little about your SPECIFIC academic interests in Psychology and fat too much on extra-curricular activities, some of which (shopping and babysitting, for example) will not be of interest to academic selectors!
I have therefore removed all the unnecessary material and repetition in a significant pruning exercise. There has been a fair amount of rewording in the process, while I have made the concluding paragraph more convincing. This then leaves plenty of room for you to introduce academic material - in the places I have indicated in your draft, and to include a whole new paragraph. You need to identify topics in psychology and biology that particularly interest you, and to find links between the subjects, wherever possible. You need to be much more specific about your reading, and to indicate what new discoveries you have made. And you need to be much clearer about the nature of your project work. Once you have done this, the final product should be much, much better.
I hope this helps. Good luck with your application.