This is good but still needs some fine tuning. Continue to check your punctuation
thoroughly and there's still a tendency to make your sentences overly complex.
1. employment activity [a bit wordy - can you think of one word instead?]
2. In recognition...[In recognition of what? Not clear/incomplete thought]
3. communications or communication? [note, later you refer to Communication
4. My confidence has soared due to this course [comma needed after 'course']
5. and have frequently fascinated me [this seems tagged on - doesn't quite
6. my skill of [in?]public speaking and communication and diplomacy [do you
need all three of these? Repetition of 'and' also]
7. More recently I have taken up singing lessons, in which I received a distinction
in the Grade 8 singing examination and appeared in numerous concerts, singing
a variety of music, helping me to appreciate the motivation needed to succeed
and the team-wok involved. [long, overly complex sentence]
8. Further more [one word]
9. administrational tasks [administrative]
10. Public relations [public relations]
11. Further more, I gained experience for two weeks within the Public Relations
department mainly carrying out administrational tasks although I got to experience
first hand the way in which press releases aimed at various media were put together,
thus gaining an in-depth knowledge of just one area of the communication market.
[long, overly complex sentence]
Hope this helps!