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UCAS Experts Feedback:
I had not realised from your earlier version that you plan to study Japanese language - the impression was that it was a course in Japanese. If it is the former, you need to make this very clear. I note that you are studying no languages at A level - you must check that you are qualified for the courses to which you apply.
I have shortened it, as you requested. I have also switched round the material in the first paragraph, and have reinserted several of my original grammatical changes. I have removed one or two OTT phrases too.
I hope you like it. Good luck!