A useful first draft but...
Mention what aspects of Egyptology you really like
Your career intentions
Your hobbies and interests
Posts of responsibility
1. Over the years I have researched up on many books on archaeology
[Over the years I have read many books on archaeology]
2. as Colchester castle [Castle]
3. I believe that if I was accepted I would be a student who is keen to
learn. [this isn't a strong enough statement to include]
4. In years ten and eleven I found that I was enjoying English much more.
When I received my GCSE results back I was pleased to know that I had gained
a B and C for the subject. This showed that my English writing skills had
dramatically improved. After some thinking I decided to take A level English
Language and Literature and now hope to gain at least a grade C in my exams.
[this isn't really relevant]
5. Website design, human [website design]
Hope this helps!