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UCAS Experts Feedback:
Good in places, but you will see I have altered it substantially. You must identify the proposed degree subject at the start! As it stood, it was very unbalanced, so I have cut out a lot of the less relevant material. You now need to add - where I have indicated - specific detail on your computing skills, strengths, interests and applications. I note also no reference to Work Experience - should go in if you've done any.
I hope you like the revised version.