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UCAS Experts Feedback:
This is generally good in several places, though it has needed a fair amount of rewording, for two key reasons. In places you come over as a little smug, and so I have removed the 'rougher edges', where the ideas were really simply repeated. The other reason is to give youspace to correct the imbalance, since there is currently too much stress on extra-curricular activities and not enough on the History/IR. I have indicated where you need to refer to more favourite topics.
It will be very good when this has been done, and I hope you like the revised version.